Things NOT To Say To A Police Officer

-No, YOU assume the position.

-Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?!

-I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record.

-Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

-What do you mean have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist.

-Whoops, that's the fake one...here ya go, this is the one.

-You're lucky this car needs a tune up of you'd have never caught me.

-If you tried the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so dang uptight.

-What exactly is "legally drunk"?

-So, what's a good bribe go for around here?

-Hey, can you give me one of those full body cavity searches, please?