Kari's Insider Tip on How to Tolerably Watch "King Kong"

If you still feel it necessary to watch "King Kong" even after reading my two blogs about the movie, I will let you in on a vital hint.

Step 1: Rent or borrow the movie. (I highly recommend borrowing as to not waste your hard-earned money.)

Step 2: Place DVD or video in appropriate player.

Step 3- *THIS IS A CRITICAL ONE, SO DON'T SKIP IT*:
Locate remote control to your viewing device (i.e., DVD player or VCR) and keep it near at all times throughout the movie.

Step 4: Press Play and begin to watch movie. The instant you begin to feel that the movie is moving slowly (this will happen about 20 minutes in), fast forward the movie, inserting your own clever adlibs. Don't worry, your version will be pretty much verbatim--if not better--than what the actors are saying and doing if you're as good at it as Adam and I are; however, it's not a difficult feat.

Step 5: Remove your finger from the fast-forward button only when you really think you're missing something important. Be wary, there is not much that warrants a halt to the fast-forwarding.

Step 6: You're finished! Congratulate yourself and any viewing partners (if applicable) on making it through an 187 minute movie in about half the time WITHOUT MISSING A SINGLE THING!!

Step 7 (applies only to those who borrowed the movie): Return the movie as quickly as possible and have a sincere discussion with whomever it was that purchased the movie. Remember to be sensitive to their feelings, but take ample time to help them realize what a waste of actual living time that they have wasted by viewing the movie (which was probably first viewed by the owner(s) by over-paying at a movie theater where there is no fast-forward option). With dilligence, you will be able to assist your victim in future viewing choices and help them possibly avoid other heinous films to come.

Yay! Thanks, Kari, for this ever-so-helpful and informative tip.