"The More You Gnome"

(This is a research paper I wrote in college in my English 2010 class which focused a lot on creative writing. I thought I'd post it so those of you who don't understand my whole gnome fascination can maybe get a little history. Plus, I like this paper and sometimes run out of things to post so.......here ya go!
I'll post a pic of my gnome later so you can all get a visual of how stinkin' cute he really is.
P.S. Oh yeah, this paper is a little long.)


Ahh the things people are amused by. The vast matter we fondly refer to as happiness can be brought into our individual lives by means that might not be conceivable to others. To some, a hobby might be restoring classic cars or competing in athletic events. Yet, others, such as myself, can find amusement in something as simple as decorative lawn ornamentation.

My fascination with gnomes might have developed when I was about five years old watching “David and the Gnomes” on Nickelodeon in the comfort of my living room in the big brown recliner we had inherited from my grandfather. The little gnomes would work and play and go about their daily activities with happy smiles on their faces, laughter echoing from their small mouths, and noses rubbing to show affection towards one another. I don’t really know what it was, but the idea of little people living in forests grasped my attention and held on pretty tightly.

As I got older, my television habits changed, and odd as it may seem (and I want you to brace yourself), watching Nickelodeon somehow escaped my daily regimen. It was not until last year when I took an Introduction to Folklore class that I was once again reacquainted with my long lost interest. Garden gnomes, which broadly fit under the category of Material Lore, can also be more distinctively classified as yard art, and were thoroughly discussed throughout the course. Learning of these little people was very intriguing to me and the information and fun facts presented seemed like viable stuff to know. This information was actually something I could share with others and I soon realized that if I was impressed by it, the witty remarks I could come up with on my own and the clever knowledge about the history or meanings behind things in their own lawns or the yards of others would highly impress them too.

I revealed my enthusiasm for folklore and the things I was learning when I called home each weekend and talked to my family in Idaho. I expressed to my mother how badly I wanted a garden gnome, and one day when I was home for the summer she said to me, “Kari, I’ve found some of the cutest gnomes! You should go look at them.” So, being the curious thrill seeker I am, I allowed her to take me to Joann Fabric, where I must admit, I was rather surprised to see any gnomes at all, let alone the countless other forms of yard art ranging from ceramic deer and frogs to fountains and plastic pink flamingos.

She walked me over to where the gnomes were located and showed me all the different varieties. It must have been my lucky day too, because they were all 40% off, which to a poor college girl like myself was like an orange tuxedo to Lloyd Christmas! I looked carefully at the entire selection, inspecting each one for any flaws or defects, because quite frankly, this was an important decision and there would be no ordinary gnome for me, thank-you-very-much. I searched the shelves, getting a little skeptical as to whether or not I would really find “the one”, when alas, hidden in the back, there he was-- casually sitting on a fat mushroom atop some resin grass. He wears a dark red cone-shaped hat, which stands about five inches high, perched on his large round ears and bushy white eyebrows. His shirt is blue and his pants a dark honey color. In his right hand, he holds a small fishing pole with a gray fish hanging from the end of his line. His chin rests nonchalantly in his left hand and his white beard extends down to his waist. His little cheeks are rosy red, and some might daringly venture to say he resembles a miniature Santa Claus.

My family thought I was a little odd for buying the gnome when I could have easily spent my money on other things that 20-year-old females would typically prefer to buy, but this gnome was important to me. He would serve as my little friend over the next three months as I moved away from home to Provo, Utah, where I knew no one except my sister, her husband, and their little girl Alli.

I took extra special care of him when I got my car packed and ready to go. He sat carefully in the front seat, partially secured by the automatic seatbelt and maroon interior of my 1989 Toyota Camry. When we arrived in Provo, I showed him to my two-year-old niece who loved him almost as much as I did and would talk to his fish on a daily basis.

From that time on, whenever I made trips back home to Idaho or even to other places, I took him with me. He was a sense of security when I traveled and something funny for me to look forward to seeing. Needless to say, explaining to other people why in the world I even had a garden gnome, let alone traveled with him in my front seat all belted in was quite entertaining as well.

Unknown to most, the practice of yard art is something that is learned through daily interactions and examples, yet hardly ever talked about or formally taught. Though you may look, it would be somewhat difficult to locate a 'how-to' book on strategic placement of garden or lawn gnomes (Thomas 9). That is my favorite thing about them; they are just so versatile.
Garden gnomes originated in Germany in 1883 and are the brainchild of native-born Phillip Griebel. Horst Dinkelacker, author of numerous articles for the Journal of Popular Culture pertaining to garden gnomes, states, “The all-time favorite is the jolly gnome pushing a wheel barrow or engaged in some other meaningful activity, preferably in the garden, or relaxing under the umbrella of his mushroom home (‘klein aber mein’- small but mine)”. In Europe, fishing gnomes, such as mine, remain the largest selling version, despite the large assortment available.

When Griebel invented his garden versions of gnomes, he carried with him the same historical ideology that Carol Rose points out in her book Spirits, Fairies, Gnomes, and Goblins: An Encyclopedia of the Little People. She writes, “In Teutonic mythology, gnomes resembled dwarfs in that they were small, stocky beings who invariably appeared like old men. They dwelt in the earth and were able to disappear into the ground or trees. They were industriously occupied within mines and were supposed to be guardians of treasure” (14). My gnome (who does not have a name and is most often referred to by me as ‘my little friend’) does have features of an old man, but underneath the white beard and bushy eyebrows, his face looks relatively young and wrinkle free.

Gender roles play a large part in the looks, physique, and clothing of garden gnomes. Males are dressed appropriately for outdoor activities and play, while females are not at all dressed for sports or activities, and when they are shown doing something questionably “tomboyish”, like swinging for example, they are often dressed in frilly dresses, as not to question their femininity (“Naked Barbies” 84).

Gnomes typically wear brightly colored hats, usually pointed or cone shaped, and the sizes, colors, and dimensions vary dramatically from gnome to gnome, as does the popular consensus. There are several Internet sites dedicated not only to the liking of gnomes, but to the killing, freeing, and decapitation of gnomes (not in any way related!).

Throughout their lives, gnomes have found themselves to be the topic of some pretty heated debates. One dispute lies in the gnome production industry itself and the contention that was brought about when Germany’s neighboring country Poland began to mass produce replicas of the German originals at a fraction of the cost. Nowa Sol, a town in Poland of merely 43,000, is home to 200 gnome producing factories, which operate around the clock and bring gnome fanatics in by the dozens to purchase and smuggle the illegal (and less costly) imitations back to Deutschland (Husarska 10). It seems strange that such an insatiable demand exists in a country that does not even buy gnomes, but uses them only as a source of income.

Another interesting debate is the freeing of gnomes. Many groups are out to “liberate the oppressed gnomes” from their so-called captors. Some individuals take it upon themselves to free garden gnomes everywhere and practice “gnome-napping”, which is relatively harmless to the gnomes, but saddening to gnome owners. In 2002, ESPN used what is known as “the traveling gnome” as the theme for one of their advertisements (“Naked Barbies” 90). This theme has also continued over to Travelocity, who possibly owns the country's most famous travelling gnome known to date. The traveling gnome is usually a pilfered gnome (often taken by one who hopes to release the endangered and sheltered soul), who sends home post cards and photographs of his travels to let the owner know what a great time he is having and possibly make them realize the gnome is better off experiencing life than stuck in a flower bed in their front yard. Gnome owners are usually not at all pleased when they realize their gnome has been taken, but have a hard time not enjoying the mail that comes, courtesy of said liberators.

On the other hand, there are some who do not believe in protection; rather they prey on the unassuming characters. While researching, I came across a website, “Die Screaming with Sharp Things in Your Head”, that not only displays pictures of maimed garden gnomes, but also encourages others to participate in the brutality. The website quotes one Mr. GnomeMaker: “If you see a Garden Gnome, pick it up and take it home. Make sure it is really dead; stick something sharp into its head”.

I don’t think it matters what we like or the things that make us happy, as long as they serve their purpose, small as it might be. Due to common courtesy, I would highly encourage the halt of gnome-related fatalities and incidents and believe all gnomes would be safe if people did not take it upon themselves to destroy the happiness of others.

I have yet to name my gnome, so I still just refer to him as my little friend, but he now sits on my desk in my room on a green “grass” doormat with a daisy in the lower left hand corner and a vibrant, flowery calendar behind him. He doesn’t travel with me much anymore, nor do I intend to put him outside unattended so that he may be gnome-napped and embark on journeys with strange liberators, but he makes me happy when I look at him. I am excited and diligently looking to add to my collection in the future so that he, too, might have someone to call his little friend.